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Aim High Writing College Consulting

Excuses, Excuses

11/7/2013

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There's a lot of reasons a person can give for not completing an assignment on time. Instructors tend to have a sixth sense for who needs a break and who needs to be broken. (Kidding. Sort of.) 

Coming at this from the perspective of both a former instructor and student, here are the best and worst excuses for missing a deadline:

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ALWAYS VALID

I'm sick with [contagious illness] and have a doctor's appointment scheduled.
Not every professor will require proof of a visit to the health center, but if she doesn't know you very well (or perhaps too well...), an instructor might ask for evidence of actual illness. That being said, if you are actually suffering from a horrible flu, send an email before class notifying your professor you won't be there, and asking for instructions on how to make up the missed material.  

My [family member] died.
I know that some students lie about this one, but I think most instructors will give you the benefit of a doubt here, so don't abuse their trust. If the news was upsetting and you need to miss class, send an email to the professor. If you are going home for the funeral, ask them what you need to do while you are gone. If there is a paper or exam coming up, do not ask for an extension - wait for them to offer it to you. Most will.

I have a job interview.
Again, give prior notice, but in most cases, instructors understand that most people are going to college and graduate school with the objective to find work after they graduate. I never had a problem being excused from class on the days I had interviews. However, you might want to hand in homework or sit for a quiz in advance, since most professors will not accept an interview as a reason for missing assignments or being unprepared for a test.

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GIVE IT A SHOT

I'm having computer issues.
I'll be really honest - I wouldn't accept this as an excuse. But some instructors might. It's not that I don't believe students have to deal with malfunctioning computers or temperamental printers. I certainly have experience with unreliable technology. But there are so many on-campus resources to turn to if your own computer or printer isn't working. But who knows? Maybe your professor is more magnanimous than I, and will give you a grace period.

I never received that email.

This can be a reasonable excuse since professors sometimes have incomplete listservs or your email sent something to spam. Again, it's a little suspicious if it's a small class, you know people, and there were other ways to be notified of important changes to the syllabus. Still, I've legitimately not received emails from instructors. Just make sure to resolve the issue quickly, since this excuse is not acceptable on an ongoing basis.

I haven't slept in 2 days and am feeling really overwhelmed.
Some people might disagree with me, but I think it's ok for a student to recognize and intervene in their own emotional health with a day off. College and graduate school can be extremely stressful environments. I struggled with insomnia throughout most of my undergrad and master's programs, roaming the halls at 2 a.m.  I was desperate to sleep but couldn't shut my mind off.

My first year at Harvard I once went 3 nights without sleeping in a row. I finally got myself to the health clinic, where a counselor took one look at me and announced, "You'll sleep tonight. You look terrible." (She was right on both counts; I was all pale, bag-eyed, and lethargic, and that night I slept 10 glorious hours). Insomnia is something I will always be sympathetic towards, since there is no proven cure for it and can genuinely impair a person's happiness and emotional well-being.

The only catch is that not sleeping means you should be getting MORE work done, not less. Not sleeping is a valid excuse for skipping a class one day, one time, when you really need it.

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DON'T EVEN TRY

I didn't know the homework / presentation / exam was scheduled for today?!
This is the worst, most cringe-worthy excuse. There's a syllabus for a reason. I know it's super boring when professors go over it on the first day but they are doing it for a reason. Take out a pen or highlighter and circle important dates. Then, when you get a chance, enter deadlines for assignments and tests on a calendar. I usually put things on my Google calendar, and set up advance notifications.

I didn't feel like it.
Um, ok? You're paying how much to be here? 
This excuse is particularly grating to the instructor because the students who never seem to feel like coming to class are the same ones who will protest their abysmal grades.

I had a really important paper in my other class, so I didn't have time to do the homework for this class.
Congratulations. You've just told your professor that you lack the necessary skills to juggle multiple obligations, the ability to plan ahead, and - worst of all - that his class is your lowest priority. Don't expect him to be sympathetic.

I turned my paper in, but maybe you lost it?
Doubtful. Sure, there are scatterbrained instructors, but if you're the same student in rarely comes to class or does her homework, they're not going to accept the blame for your missing work. Also, you've just insulted them.

BEING TRUSTWORTHY

Ultimately, any of these excuses, even the ones that a professor will typically reject, are possibly valid and potentially acceptable. What it comes down to is how well the instructor knows and trusts you. So set yourself up as a reliable, trustworthy student from the beginning, so that when you do need to explain why you missed a deadline, forgot about an exam, or skipped class, the professor is inclined to believe you and to give you an opportunity to make up the missed work.

Oh, and check out some truly awful student excuses here. Just don't get any ideas.
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Use It Or Lose It

11/6/2013

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Oh, hello, John Sample.

Student Discounts Galore!

Chances are, if you're a student, you're probably constantly looking for opportunities to save money. The good news is more retailers and service-providers are offering student discounts, with the expectation of winning a young person's loyalty early on.

Bonus: This post gives me an excuse to post some awesomely ridiculous sample student ID pictures.

Sam Student is a huge fan of Amtrak.

TRAVEL

Amtrak offers a Student Advantage Card, saving you 15% on train travel. I used to ride the train from Boston to Philadelphia every few months. The first time, I felt very metropolitan. I take the express train, thank you. Then, after the novelty wore off, I made a habit of retiring to the Quiet Car, where I once saw an Amtrak lady mercilessly berate a man for using his cellphone. I liked her.

CoachUSA and Greyhound for those of you who enjoy taking the bus. Or have no other option.

GM College Discount - in case you're in the market for a car.

Student Universe is like the Kayak for cheap student flights and hotels.

STA Travel helps you do destination vacations and tours at a discounted rate.

After studying abroad for a semester, Jane International starts every sentence with, "When I was in Spain..."

Culture

Typically, you can find discounted rates for most museums, theaters, performances, and historical sites.

Seattle Symphony
has a free campus club membership for college students, as do most across the country.

Broadway in Chicago and New York City is available at a reduced rate.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art gives students a decent discount, and if you're ever in Russia, the Hermitage is completely free for students of any nationality. 

Philadelphia Museum of Art has a regular discount, plus hosts an annual College Day on the Parkway where local institutions and attractions are free for students with valid ID.

Nobody ever offered me a puppy to pose with when I was getting my ID made.

Food

Everyone. Seriously:
  • Buffalo Wild Wings
  • Burger King
  • Dairy Queen 
  • Domino's Pizza
  • McDonald’s
  • Arby's
  • Chick-fil-A
  • Papa John’s
  • Pizza Hut
  • Subway
  • Waffle House
  • Chipotle - free drink!

Discounts sometimes vary depending on location, and not every franchise offers them. Make sure you check if you are really counting on that 10% off of your curly fries order.

Ben Carded. Get it?

Technology

For phones, AT&T, T-Mobile, Verizon, and Sprint offer discounts for participating schools. 

Academic Superstore offers software at reduced prices, along with thinkEDU.

Apple does a back-to-school discount, while Microsoft has 10% off some models. Dell is usually generous to college students, and Norton Software offers virus protection for up to 50% off.

Wow. Here they do cartoons instead of photos.

Retail

Amazon Student is the best for personal shopping and finding school supplies, including affordable textbooks. Plus, you receive free 2-day shipping for the first six months of your membership. 

Additionally:
  • Target (online only)
  • JCrew and Madewell
  • Banana Republic, Gap, Old Navy
  • Steve Madden
  • Urban Outfitters
  • Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor Loft
  • Eddie Bauer
  • Topshop

And if you're a med student, Medelita offers discounted scrubs!

If I May...

Not to be your mom, but one final note. Just because places offer student discounts (especially the fast food and clothing stores), doesn't mean you're obligated to take advantage of them. Decide what you really want to spend your money on. If you want to budget burritos, go for it. But then don't break the bank at Target on top of that.

And think very carefully about signing up for each individual store's credit card. My suggestion is to not take them at all, since you don't need to be 19 and juggling eight different lines of credit. They will try to lure you in with an initial discount of "20% off today's purchase for signing up!"

Say no thanks and move on.
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I May Be Wrong, But...

11/5/2013

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Disclaimers and Caveats

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I made a huge mistake repeatedly for a long time as a student.
"I don't know if I'm right, but..."

"...Or I could be totally off-base here."

"Well, I'm not sure if I read this correctly, but..."

"Just tell me if I'm wrong, but..."
Wow. What a set-up before attempting to make a persuasive argument.

I'm saying this as someone who has been there, as well as someone who was horribly, hideously shy as an undergraduate - stop putting disclaimers and caveats on your statements.

It is particularly damaging when you get to graduate school, and many classes are dialogue-based. Students are expected to critique and be critiqued, while offering original thoughts on the course material.

I remember the moment I realized that I was undercutting my arguments before I even made them. I was an MA student at Harvard, in a tiny seminar with History PhD students. There was only one other female student. My male classmates were a little older. Everyone was (or at least appeared to be) way more confident than I about their interpretations of the texts. After weeks of observation, I finally (finally!) realized what was going on:

The students who made their arguments, without any disclaimers about possibly being wrong, were the ones who I was most inclined to a) listen to and b) find persuasive.

Ohhhhh. You mean when you say something without apologizing for it upfront it comes off as more authoritative? (Blergh. Why did it take me YEARS to have this non-revelation?)

Fortunately, there is an incredibly simple way to rectify how you deliver your arguments to your classmates and professors: Say what you're going to say, with zero disclaimers. Let others determine if they want to question the validity of your statement (and there's always somebody who will). Then respond to their point by either defending your argument, or by conceding you find their own position more tenable. 

When Receiving Critiques

When you are on the receiving end of a professor's or classmate's criticism, hopefully they are delivering their critique in a fair, thoughtful, and civil manner. In these cases, you want to acknowledge someone's point, while defending your own argument. Try phrasing your replies with open language that invites conversation and demonstrates you are listening to the person offering a critique:
That is a really great point, and here's where I think we are agreeing about...

That is a really great point, and here's where I think we are approaching the topic differently because...

I appreciate your feedback, and I'm not sure I completely understand. Would you mind explaining a little bit more?

I'm going to need to take a minute to think over what you said. Can we come back to me?

Hmm. Actually, I'm thinking about what you said, and I have to say, I agree with you. Thank you for pointing that out to me.
Notice that when you disagree with someone, it's effective to use "and" instead of "but." Also, try to word your statements in a way that makes the other person feel heard. It's not fair if you just dismiss a thoughtful criticism because you do not want to entertain the possibility of being wrong. If you are wrong, just admit it. And of course, if you need more time to think it over, ask them to come back to you in a minute.

However, if someone is just being a real jerkface when critiquing you, feel free to devote less time and energy to defending yourself. If someone makes a personal attack on your character because she doesn't like your interpretation of The Great Gatsby, then, um, just let her look ridiculous in front of everyone else and try not to get sucked into a stupid argument.

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When Critiquing Others

This one's pretty simple. Don't be a jerk.

What I mean by that is don't confuse debating about a concept with being in an angry argument with your classmates.

I've seen this happen and it's too absurd when someone throws a tantrum over the relative importance of theory in History courses.

So, in addition to the obvious rules of don't raise your voice, no name-calling, and make sure you have a valid critique, try wording criticism in the same way you would want to receive it:
I understand what you're saying, and I'd like to add that...

I hear you, and think we could also consider...

I think you're argument makes sense, and I'm coming at differently...

While I agree with your first point, I was also thinking...


critiques happen. deal with it.

Academia is a place for people to exchange and debate ideas, while offering feedback and different perspectives on the opinions and arguments of others. 

Stop undermining your arguments with caveats or disclaimers. If you don't believe in your own argument, why should anyone else?

And make sure to offer critiques in the same language and manner you'd want to receive them. The surest way to undercut your argument is by pitching an angry fit every time somebody disagrees with you.
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Monday Link-Up

11/4/2013

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A little NEws + LINKS

The National Academic Advising Association (NACADA) accepted Aim High Writing as a member last week. This means that we are now connected with a national community of academic advisors who are dedicated to helping students succeed in college.

Aim High Writing also made the news: check it out on SouthSoundTalk!

10 Least Car-Friendly Universities
Your car might be more of a hassle than a benefit at these campuses.

2013 NCAA College Football Rankings
Are you watching?

Should Colleges Consider Legacies in the Admissions Process?
A good piece weighing the fairness of considering legacies during the admissions process. Some argue it's discriminatory, while others insist that factoring in legacies helps foster ongoing school spirit and traditions.

Homeschooled Students Well-Prepared For College
Turns out many homeschooled students find the transition to college relatively easy, both socially and academically.

Managing Relationships in Graduate School (from Duke University)
Some good advice from Duke University's Student Affair's site on how to maintain relationships (especially romantic ones) while working as a full-time student.

9 Ways Halloween Is Different After College

Yep.



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I Need Help

11/3/2013

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Who Do I call For...?

We do this weird thing with college students. For the first 17-some years of a young person's life we call them "boys and girls," hand out detentions and demerits, and have their parents and teachers get together once a semester to discuss their kid's progress without them. 

THEN - we send everyone off to college, where we expect students to referee their own work, nobody gets punished for being late to class but you might get an F, and the bathroom doors refer to everybody as "women and men."

In one short summer, we go from treating young people as children to adults, and are confounded when some students struggle with this accelerated transition.

So, here's a quick list of who to go on campus to if you're contending with some kind of problem or difficult situation. Remember, there's almost always someone employed by the university to help you sort out your exact issue, so help is very much available.

Problem: I'Ve Never Taken A {Class} Before 

Contact: ACADEMIC SUPPORT SERVICES

I had to take Calculus and Physics as an undergraduate, even though I already knew my strengths and interests were History and writing. It was greatly demoralizing to realize my GPA was going to take a hit because I was being forced to take classes I had no discernible talent for.

This is where you should be proactive. Seek out academic support services by consulting with an academic adviser, tutoring center, and even the professor. They will most likely connect you with a peer tutor to help you stay afloat for the semester.

Problem: No Money, Mo Problems

Contact:  Financial Adviser

I had a client who knew he was accepted into a fantastic private liberal arts university, but didn't know where he stood in terms of financial aid. Apparently, when visiting, a coach had made a semi-verbal commitment to help him obtain an athletic scholarship. Yet there was no mention of money in the acceptance letter.

The first thing I suggested he do? Set up an appointment with a financial counselor, take a parent, and ask as many questions as needed. Even though it was summer, I wanted him to know exactly where he stood with the university in terms of financial assistance.

It turned out he did have a scholarship, but in the event that you are not receiving any aid, a financial adviser can help you find on-campus work, including work-study programs, or counsel you on taking out an appropriately-sized student loan.

Problem: I'm Sad/ Angry / Numb / Anxious

Contact: Health Center Counselor

I'm not making light of this at all, and it's important to recognize and seek help if you realize that some personal problems are interfering with your academic performance.

Depression and anxiety can be chronic, ongoing conditions that some students find exacerbated by going off to college. Depression can also be situational or environmental; you might be happier if you change who you're dating, what you're studying, or even the school you're attending.

Of course, there are lots of people who care about you that you can talk about it with, but consider seeing a counselor when one bad day turns into weeks. They can help you modify your behaviors, thoughts, and environment, as well as set you up with a doctor if necessary.

PROBLEM: RESEARCH PAPER OR PROJECT

CONTACT: YOUR FRIENDLY SUBJECT LIBRARIAN

Did you know that your university's library employs specialists who can help you track down the right sources on-campus and throughout the world? 

Let's say you have a paper on 20th century German cinema. That's a super specific topic. Contact the librarians who are experts in Film and Media Studies, German Studies, and History to start with. 

The really great thing is that they will be able to point you in the direction of any special collections materials, if your college has (or can borrow) them for you. Any undergraduate who seeks out archival materials by their own initiative for a research paper will win a million points and a gold star, I assure you.

Don't Forget - 

Your roommates, friends, parents, favorite aunt, and grandpa are also there for you when you need to vent or get a little advice.

Just remember - you don't have to go it alone, and I suggest you don't, especially when it comes to school or money. Don't be a hero. There are people whose express purpose is to help you have everything in place so that you can excel in college.
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Excited To Share...

11/2/2013

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Over On SouthSoundTalk:

Write Your Way To Success: Aim High Writing Provides Guidance for Aspiring Students

“You really are good enough; you deserve to be here. Own it!”

It was one of the last things Jessica Peyton Roberts said to me during her interview but I wouldn’t be expressing the passion behind her creation if I didn’t begin this article with her parting words. Where was she when I was applying for schools?

Roberts is a minority female business owner (a member of the Cherokee tribe), with an M.A. from Harvard and a B.A. from the University of Notre Dame. She is a godsend to prospective students staring at college essays with trembling fear. Her service, Aim High Writing, is an applications coaching program that reaches out to students who are self-motivated and have clearly defined education goals.

“I see writing as a tool for education reform and as a way to kind of level the socioeconomic playing field for students,” says Roberts. “If you can express yourself in a way that comes across as a mature young adult, I think it has the ability to transcend whatever,barriers, perceived or real, you think there is to you being respected and accepted by an institution.”
Find the full story here!
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Three Questions Before Enrolling In A Graduate School

11/1/2013

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You got In! Now What?

Let's say you spend this fall applying to several graduate programs, and come spring you are entertaining one or more admissions offers. Congratulations! Now, assuming you are ready to enroll somewhere next semester, there are 3 questions you need to ask when choosing a program:

1. What's The Money Situation?

Unless you have a huge trust fund, do not enroll in a PhD program unfunded. Let me repeat that: DO NOT ENROLL IN A PHD PROGRAM WITHOUT ANY FUNDING. I know that not everybody will agree with me on this, and that's fine. But I do not suggest taking out massive loans to cover 6-10 years of study and living expenses. Especially if you already owe money from your undergraduate program.

Caveat: If the program pledges to find you funding after the first year, or if you have other forms of funding through an external grant or fellowship, it might be worth going.

As for the stipend, don't be shy about asking a program representative how current students fare on X amount of dollars a year. Any school should offer you health insurance as part of your funding package, but you are still expected to stretch a paltry sum over rent, utilities, transportation, books, school supplies, travel, conference expenses, and social activities. Oh yeah, and food. 

Forget about dental. There's Groupon for that.

If they aren't paying a living wage, you need to consider borrowing money or getting a job on the side. If you are being offered a Teaching Assistantship, programs often ban second jobs, since you are expected to devote your time to studying and teaching. 

In Other Words: Can you afford to go there?

2.  What Is The Department Culture?

Hopefully you have the opportunity to visit the programs you are considering. I recommend going in-person to any school you are seriously interested in committing to and observing the department's general atmosphere. Are the graduate students hanging out in the halls, lounges, or mail room and chatting? Do some of the professors have their doors open? Is there laughter?! There should be some laughter.

Alternatively, if you see other graduate students silently raging at their desks or weeping as they leave a professor's office, you might want to investigate if this is par for the course here. 

I loved the department culture of my PhD program. The professors were welcoming and typically kept their doors open. My classmates understood the critical importance of interrupting each other while we worked to quote Arrested Development for 40 minutes, before giving up on getting any more reading done. It wasn't any kind of rare occurrence to hear people happily greeting each other in the hall or catching up in over the copy machine.

In Other Words: Do the current students hate their life, and can you see yourself being relatively happy there most days? 

3.  Do You Mesh Well With Your Adviser?

Figuring out if you and your adviser can have a productive working relationship requires a little introspection on your part. Ask yourself:

  • What's my working style? Do I like being left along until I'm ready to present my work, or do I want someone to give me deadlines and check my drafts along the way?
  • How much help do I need in terms of research? Do I want an adviser who takes an active role in my project? Do I want an adviser who has very similar research interests, or is it better to have our own discrete topics?

  • Do I want a famous adviser and have his or her name as part of my academic genealogy, even if it means you will likely have to compete for his or her attention?
  • Do I want a famous adviser, even if he or she is considered tyrannical and mean-spirited by other students and colleagues alike?

  • Do I want someone who I work with on a purely academic level, or do I need an adviser with whom I am comfortable sharing personal thoughts and struggles when it is interfering with my work?
  • Do I want an adviser who acts more like a parent, a cool uncle, older sister, or that distant grandparent you see every few years and consider decently nice but aren't really close with?

I was incredibly lucky with both my master's and PhD advisers. Both women were perfect matches for what I wanted in an adviser - people who supported my off-beat project ideas, didn't mind meeting with me frequently, but trusted me to work independently most of the time. And both acted in a semi-maternal way that made me feel comfortable to speak up when I was struggling, whether it was school-related or not.

Above all, both my advisers had my back, and proved it over and over again. My master's adviser helped me protest an unfair grading situation. My PhD adviser was so amazing that she frequently championed graduate students' causes, whether or not she was directly advising them. 

Everybody has different working styles. So if you like to be left alone, you might pair well with a scholar who is too busy to meet with you regularly. Conversely, if you need to feel like you have a rapport with your adviser so that you are comfortable discussing your work with them, find someone who prioritizes cultivating a relationship with his or her students. 

And think long and hard before committing to work with someone who has a reputation for being abusive and angry. Find a way to surreptitiously speak with current students about the program faculty's personalities, and especially get a sense of what others think about your prospective adviser. 

In Other Words: Can you picture yourself working with this person for years, and it being a supportive, productive partnership?

Wait...What If I Don'T Like Any Of My Choices?

Hey, it happens.

At this point, you have a few options:

You can enroll anyway and see if you like it better in a few months. I do not recommend this option since graduate school is hard enough without hating it from the very first day.

You can call this year a wash, and reapply next year to different programs. Yes, you spent a fair amount of money on applications, but it's worth the loss if you get into a program you love a year from now.

You can reexamine why you are going to graduate school in the first place. Has anything changed since you wrote your applications that no longer makes it an attractive choice for you? Are you contending with major life changes or financial problems that necessitate a different path for now?
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    Jessica Peyton Roberts 
    I am a Higher Education Consultant working with students and parents on finding the right college, financial, and scholarship options for your needs.

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