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Aim High Writing College Consulting

The Advice I Wish I'd Followed Sooner

3/23/2014

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You know Calvin and Hobbes? I spent a lot of time with those two when I was younger. I wasn't really a comics person otherwise, but something about Calvin's enthusiasm, occasionally tempered by his wry assessments of life's injustices, resonated with 10-year-old me.

However, it was only recently I learned more about the comic strip's creator, Bill Watterson. See, Watterson was fettering away his days in advertising, hating every minute. He wanted to do work he enjoyed, as well as something that allowed him to be at home more with his family.

So what did he do?

He quit his job to work on comics full time. Eventually Calvin and Hobbes emerged, was picked up by newspapers across the county, and Watterson was famous.

Over and over he clashed with his syndicate over the issue of merchandising. Watterson insisted the integrity of Calvin and Hobbes be preserved by avoiding the commercialization of his characters. He won. When he felt the material was played out, he stopped writing.

In other words, here was a person who designed his own dream job, and rejected offers of more money and fame in favor of protecting his work,

I can't improve or add to Watterson's excellent advice below; I only want to encourage anyone who is feeling conflicted about what they are doing and what they wish they were doing to read this over. And then read it again.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it's to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential-as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.

You'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you're doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you'll hear about them.

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.



-Bill Watterson

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Survey Says...

3/17/2014

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Two weeks ago I issued a call for volunteers to answer 10 questions about their college applications experience. Thank you to the 80 of you who obliged - I sincerely appreciate it.

I thought I might discuss some of the answers - some of which surprised me! Maybe you'll find them surprising too?

88% of respondents graduated on time, with 9% graduating ahead of schedule.

I can't say these figures shocked me; most of my survey-takers were Notre Dame graduates, which has a 96% graduation rate. That being said, with this question I was trying to get a sense if there is any correlation between one's applications experience and their ability / willingness to graduate on time.


45% said their parents were "Somewhat Involved," while 36% said they handled their applications completely solo.

I am curious if those whose parents were somewhat involved wished that their folks had been more like those of 19% of respondents - "Very Involved" - or left to complete the applications without any parental oversight. 

My two cents is that it is invaluable to have some kind of trusted authority figure - a parent, counselor, coach, family friend, or older sibling - to help guide students through the applications process, as well as providing emotional support for the transition that takes place between high school and college.
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50% of respondents knew where they wanted to go and how to apply. But 30% did not know where they wanted to go and 10% didn't know how to apply. And 12% didn't know where they wanted to go OR how to apply.

I suspect that 50% figure is representative of a broader section of students applying to college. Plenty of aspiring college students have a dream school picked out, or plan to go where their parents or siblings went, while others do their research and pick out a school with the right program for their professional goals.

However, I was in the 30% of those who knew how to apply, but wasn't sure where I wanted to go. I had a general idea, but I didn't make any decisions until acceptance letters where in my hands. 

For those who didn't know where they wanted to go or how to apply, I'm wondering if they are the same respondents who were left on their own to puzzle through the applications process?


30% did not receive any assistance from a parent, teacher, counselor, or educational professional with their school and scholarship applications.

This is incredible to me. Was help offered and you preferred to go it alone? Or was assistance never an option?


While 56% of respondents understood the application essay prompts and knew what they wanted to write about, 19% had no idea what to write, and 11% "hated writing the essay."

This makes me wonder if teachers or counselors were putting out information about how to tackle the essay prompt. As I tell my clients, all application essays - no matter how boring or fantastical or rambling or open-ended the prompts are - should answer two main questions:

1. Where have you been and where are you going?
2. How are you prepared to succeed at this particular school? 
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54% worked on several drafts and solicited feedback, while 25% wrote it and turned it in, done and done. Fortunately, 0% claimed to have copied their essay from somewhere else (and this was an anonymous survey!).


The majority of people, including 23% who said they worked on multiple drafts (but did not look for feedback), handled their applications by tackling the essay as a Very Important Part (I'd say the Most Important Part) of the application.


The most important factor governing people's choice of school was tied at 31% each with a campus visit and "school prestige." 

I was surprised cost (16%) and location (a mere 6%) didn't rank higher. This is great information for me, and I do advise students to visit their prospective schools in person to get a feel for the campus before signing up to live there for the next four years.


The FAFSA - most of us at 50% let our parents deal with it. But more than 20% were unsure if they had the option of the FAFSA at the time they applied or if it would even be relevant to them. Several wrote in that their parents knew they would not be eligible for aid and did not bother filling one out. More than one person called it "stressful," which seems about right!

I was in the same boat as many people here - my parents' income probably wouldn't qualify me for much (if any) aid. My father took care of the FAFSA and I received a small work-study offer - which was certainly better than nothing. But I wish I had taken more initiative to find and write for scholarships when I applied for school, as I help clients do now. Sure, the awards are rarely more than a $1000, but that's a $1000 for books, food, and living expenses you wouldn't otherwise have. 
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54% knew how to find scholarships and apply.

Meanwhile, 24% received scholarships from their schools without applying and 32% didn't try to find or apply for scholarships. I was in that 32% when I was applying to college. It wasn't until my junior year of college that I started learning how to track down and write competitive grant applications. I wonder if I would have had more aid if I had started my junior year of high school.


Finally, 33% - a third! - of respondents wished they had received more assistance with the actual school search and applications.

For some students, parental or counselor oversight is most helpful. Other students just want access to the information and to take care of it themselves. But while 67% said they handled it well and wouldn't change a thing (which is great!) 33% still seems a remarkably high number of people who feel that their college applications experience would have been enhanced by additional help.
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Conclusions and Further Questions

A fair amount of respondents were applying to college 20 - 30 years ago, and one might argue that things now are easier than ever because everything is handled online.

But oh, how I disagree with the idea that technology = easier. 

No way. Sure, a student can look at these glossy college websites, but I worry that people mistake looking at pictures as an adequate representation of campus life. I would still urge students to make a campus visit when time and finances permit.

And the online applications are not immune to glitches and even human error. For the 2014 Common Application, 46 schools had to push back their early application deadlines after the website continued to crash, time-out, and block students from copying and pasting their essays from Word.

Additionally, I think the results also suggest that applicants welcome help from someone -  a parent, teacher, counselor, or educational professional - when navigating the in's and out's of applications.

Everyone who responded graduated from college, so clearly the applications process wasn't so traumatizing they gave up halfway through. But there is a correlation between a student's confidence in handling the school search, the FAFSA, scholarships, and the applications essay and his or her feelings about the applications process overall.


Questions that this survey prompted for me:
  • Do students prefer a parent to a teacher/counselor for assistance?
  • When students are left on their own to apply, are they less likely to know where they want to go and how to apply?
  • How can we educate students on what the FAFSA is and how to read their award offers?
  • Are online applications really more convenient?
  • What is a student's measuring stick for "school prestige," since it ranks so highly as a factor influencing where people apply?


Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to answer the survey! It gave me valuable insight into how college graduates remember their applications experience, and ideas for how I can apply that for students who are just now preparing to apply for college and scholarships.
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Scare Yourself

3/10/2014

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I did something that totally scared me last month and it paid off. I'll tell you about it in a minute, but first, I want to explain some of my history with scaring myself.

It is possible, of course, to challenge ourselves without scaring ourselves. I can take on a difficult assignment and not necessarily be afraid of it. I can try to run a mile further or lift more weight than usual without any accompanying fear. 

So what's the inherent value of doing something so very, very uncomfortable?

I think the first thing I did that genuinely scared me was study in Russia in 2007 when I was an undergraduate student. Other kids were heading off to Australia, London, or Ireland to keep speaking English and not carry their passports everywhere. 

Myself and a few other weirdos chose Russia, where, prior to our departures, we received guidebooks with instructions like, "If you see a policeman, walk to the other side of the street and do not catch his attention"; "Do not speak English in public spaces"; and, my favorite, "There are different rules for Russians and tourists. Just because you see a Russian doing it, doesn't mean it's not illegal for you."

We had a great time though. I mean, it didn't always feel so fun in the moment - and there WERE moments - but when I came back I felt like I had done something. I had scared myself into being a little bolder.
Anyone who has known me prior to 2012 remembers I hated cats. HATED CATS. I was terrified of them. We didn't have cats when I was growing up and my exposure to them was minimal.

It wasn't until I was an adult and noticed my friend's cat was pretty cool (and harmless) that I started to think I might have been wrong about the cat thing. And then in June 2012 we brought home little George as a 9 week old kitten. Taking care of something so little scared me. Being a pet owner scared me. Having a cat scared me. And I continued to be a little nervous around cats, but I returned to the cat rescue where we got George to keep volunteering with other cats. 

Later, having two cats scared me. But how could I say no to Gloria's little face? And now I wouldn't have it any other way. 
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Some people reading this might be thinking, How are Russia and owning cats on the same plane of scary? Fair point. They're not, except they are. Because scaring ourselves is about recognizing what our comfort zone is with something and then deliberately and decisively moving beyond it.

Here's my latest: last month an online friend and fellow Notre Dame alum alerted me to an opportunity that really truly scared me. Two hours away in Portland, auditions were being held for the show Listen To Your Mother, where 12 women are selected to read a piece of their writing on the topic of motherhood.

My first thought was, I'm not going to get it, so why bother? My second thought was, Oh my goodness, If I DO get it, I will have to perform in front of an entire theater. My third thought was, I know what I want to write about, but I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing this with people I know, let alone a national audience.
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I realized, however, that if a client approached me and said they had an opportunity to do something really big and fun but scary, I'd encourage them to go for it. I'd say, the worst thing that could happen is you don't get it. I knew I had to take the same risk I'd advise others to take.

My husband drove with me to Portland. I read my piece. And then I found out I'm in. 

The topic I will speak on is incredibly personal and I'm still scared to share it with so many people. But I think it's important one, especially for young women, to hear. In May I'm going to do something that really, really scares me - I'm going to sidestep my usual Hyper Privacy Personal Bubble to talk about overcoming two intertwined personal challenges.
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Scaring yourself is one of the best ways to make sure we keep moving forward in our personal, academic, and professional lives. No two persons' fears are the same, so it doesn't matter if anyone else understands your scary thing. 

Challenging yourself in the distinct form of confronting and overcoming a fear is emboldening, confidence-building, and character-forming. 

How has scaring yourself in the past paid off for you?
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The 5 Types Of Instructors You Need To Experience

3/5/2014

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College professors are a mixed bag of awesome and awful, caring and terrifying. 

Ideally you will get to experience instructors with a variety of teaching styles and approaches to the teacher-student relationship. There is a benefit to working with each - yep, even with the mean ones.

The "Sets The Bar High" Instructor

It's actually a sign of respect when a professor gives you challenging reading material and assignments. An instructor who knows exactly where to set the bar encourages students to try hard, without setting them up fall short. In doing so, they help you find confidence in your intelligence and abilities through your continued ability to meet and exceed their expectations.

Bottom Line: Don't avoid a class because the prof has a reputation for being demanding or challenging students. 

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The Meanie

In a perfect world, everyone would be nice and take into account the feelings of others, especially those working under them. But this isn't a perfect world. A mean instructor is good practice for dealing with difficult people in general, like future employers or overbearing clients. We can't always choose our working conditions or with whom we work, but we can control how we respond to them.

Bottom Line: Learn how to be around negative people and environments and still get the job done.

The Surrogate Parent

We had a professor we referred to as "College Dad." He saw his role as professor to extending far beyond the classroom. He offered to mentor me when I was applying for a time-consuming grant, extra work he voluntarily took on with zero compensation. He had us over to his house for dinner. He asked about our lives. He was invited to some of our weddings.

I once asked him for advice about a difficult decision I had to make between accepting an offer from Harvard to do my MA or take a Fulbright Award to the Republic of Georgia.

Every other professor I'd asked said, "You have to take the Fulbright!"

College Dad was the only one who said, "As a scholar, I'd say take the Fulbright. As a father with a daughter, I think it would be better and safer for you to stay in the States and go to Harvard."

I chose Harvard and six months later Russia invaded Georgia, so the Fulbright wouldn't have worked out anyway. 

Bottom Line: It's nice to know that you are more than a nameless student to some of your instructors and they really care about what's going on in your life.

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The Friend

The friend instructor is sort of like the surrogate parent, with an important caveat - they aren't trying to parent you. They are excellent at creating and fostering camraderie among the class, so that students actually want to hang out together after class or come to optional study sessions. 

Bottom Line: Friend Professors often become real friends after you graduate.

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The "Goes Easy On STudents" Professor

I know, I know, I started off by saying you want someone to set the bar high. But equally important is to have an instructor who isn't out for blood. These professors take the pressure off of doing everything perfectly, so that you are more inclined to take chances in class and with your assignments. 

Bottom Line: You might end up wasting more time than necessary on homework this professor will never check, but at least your final exam will be absurdly easy. If you have one at all.
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How Kick The Can, Red Rover, and Hot Lava Prepare Us To Win At Life

3/3/2014

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I grew up living on a cul-de-sac called Farmdale Way in Maineville, Ohio. It doesn't get more Leave It To Beaver than that. 

The surrounding houses each had kids of various ages so that everyone had someone to pass the long summer days with and relay the message that So-And-So's mom was looking for them after it got dark.

We made up some games and relied on old standbys, sometimes convincing our parents to join in for a particularly raucous game of Kick the Can or Red Rover.


If you've played these, maybe you can identify with the following parallels I see between the strategies that helped us win children's games and the attitudes that help you win at life:

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KICK THE CAN:
Actively pursuing a goal

You've got a choice if you're going to win the game. You can either hide behind your neighbor's tree and wait for some other, braver kid make a dash to glory (my once-preferred tactic), or you can peek out, pick a route, and go after the can with all that you've got. 

If you make it - you'll congratulate yourself on taking a risk. If you don't, you'll comfort yourself with the knowledge that at least you tried to actually play the game instead of hanging out with a tree for 30-some minutes.
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RED ROVER:
Playing to your strengths while acknowledging your weaknesses.

Anyone who has ever played Red Rover knows it can be astonishingly violent. Here, we tell kids, your job is to either sacrifice your wrist in barring another kid from barreling through your line OR you're the one hurling yourself at others. Have fun.

You and your teammates consult with each other. Obviously you're not going to call over the Mini-Linebacker who could fell your entire team with a well-timed blow. 

And when you've been invited over, you search for the kid who is wiggling, distracted, or looks terrified, and you GUN IT.

Red Rover is about making decisions based on both empirical data (That guy is huge) and hunches (That guy looks scared of being running into him). 

Ultimately, the game is about knowing where you stand vis-a-vis obstacles, in terms of your strengths, weaknesses, and taking both into account when tailoring your approach to a challenge. 
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HOT LAVA:
Creative problem-solving

At home I knew the game as Hot Lava, but in gym class at school it was called "Ford the River." Either way, you had to pretend the floor was off-limits and devise creative methods of traversing it. At school we were racing against the clock too, since gym period was only about 45 minutes.

This was, like, the best game EVER until your mom found you appropriating her throw pillows as stepping stones, squishing your dirty sneaker all over the fabric. It was even better at in gym class where they let you use old tires. 

This game was an ongoing equation of will X get us across Y in Z amount of time. Natural leaders emerged - Grab that pillow! Now the lamp! You - hold this while I attach this rope! - and a team-effort fostered a sense of camaraderie for all those involved.

Hot Lava is the closest approximation I can think of as a metaphor for wading through a course where most of the material is new to you. You rely on others for help, but have to assume responsibility for getting yourself across. And the only way you're going to make it safely is by calling on a variety of resources at your disposal.

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Of course, there are many more games we could talk about - Hide and Go Seek, jumping rope, hopscotch, four square.... Heck, we ran through a sprinkler and called it a game, even though in retrospect I think it was just hot out and my mom wanted us to stop vegetating in the air-conditioned indoors.

We learn how to lead, follow, strategize, evaluate, plan, and execute from the youngest age through these games. 


So if you are doubting your ability to assert yourself in class, play to your strengths, or resolve a problem, just remember that if you could do it on a regular basis at six-years-old, and you can handle it at twenty.
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Survey Time - Your College Applications Experience

3/3/2014

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Like talking about your college days? Like talking about yourself?

Please consider taking my 10-question survey on "Your College Applications Experience." 

I am doing this as research for the book I am working on and sincerely appreciate your time and help.

Thanks in advance!

Click here to take survey

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    Jessica Peyton Roberts 
    I am a Higher Education Consultant working with students and parents on finding the right college, financial, and scholarship options for your needs.

    See Services for details and book your appointment today!


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