I did something that totally scared me last month and it paid off. I'll tell you about it in a minute, but first, I want to explain some of my history with scaring myself.
It is possible, of course, to challenge ourselves without scaring ourselves. I can take on a difficult assignment and not necessarily be afraid of it. I can try to run a mile further or lift more weight than usual without any accompanying fear.
So what's the inherent value of doing something so very, very uncomfortable?
It is possible, of course, to challenge ourselves without scaring ourselves. I can take on a difficult assignment and not necessarily be afraid of it. I can try to run a mile further or lift more weight than usual without any accompanying fear.
So what's the inherent value of doing something so very, very uncomfortable?
I think the first thing I did that genuinely scared me was study in Russia in 2007 when I was an undergraduate student. Other kids were heading off to Australia, London, or Ireland to keep speaking English and not carry their passports everywhere.
Myself and a few other weirdos chose Russia, where, prior to our departures, we received guidebooks with instructions like, "If you see a policeman, walk to the other side of the street and do not catch his attention"; "Do not speak English in public spaces"; and, my favorite, "There are different rules for Russians and tourists. Just because you see a Russian doing it, doesn't mean it's not illegal for you."
We had a great time though. I mean, it didn't always feel so fun in the moment - and there WERE moments - but when I came back I felt like I had done something. I had scared myself into being a little bolder.
Myself and a few other weirdos chose Russia, where, prior to our departures, we received guidebooks with instructions like, "If you see a policeman, walk to the other side of the street and do not catch his attention"; "Do not speak English in public spaces"; and, my favorite, "There are different rules for Russians and tourists. Just because you see a Russian doing it, doesn't mean it's not illegal for you."
We had a great time though. I mean, it didn't always feel so fun in the moment - and there WERE moments - but when I came back I felt like I had done something. I had scared myself into being a little bolder.
Anyone who has known me prior to 2012 remembers I hated cats. HATED CATS. I was terrified of them. We didn't have cats when I was growing up and my exposure to them was minimal.
It wasn't until I was an adult and noticed my friend's cat was pretty cool (and harmless) that I started to think I might have been wrong about the cat thing. And then in June 2012 we brought home little George as a 9 week old kitten. Taking care of something so little scared me. Being a pet owner scared me. Having a cat scared me. And I continued to be a little nervous around cats, but I returned to the cat rescue where we got George to keep volunteering with other cats.
Later, having two cats scared me. But how could I say no to Gloria's little face? And now I wouldn't have it any other way.
It wasn't until I was an adult and noticed my friend's cat was pretty cool (and harmless) that I started to think I might have been wrong about the cat thing. And then in June 2012 we brought home little George as a 9 week old kitten. Taking care of something so little scared me. Being a pet owner scared me. Having a cat scared me. And I continued to be a little nervous around cats, but I returned to the cat rescue where we got George to keep volunteering with other cats.
Later, having two cats scared me. But how could I say no to Gloria's little face? And now I wouldn't have it any other way.
Some people reading this might be thinking, How are Russia and owning cats on the same plane of scary? Fair point. They're not, except they are. Because scaring ourselves is about recognizing what our comfort zone is with something and then deliberately and decisively moving beyond it.
Here's my latest: last month an online friend and fellow Notre Dame alum alerted me to an opportunity that really truly scared me. Two hours away in Portland, auditions were being held for the show Listen To Your Mother, where 12 women are selected to read a piece of their writing on the topic of motherhood.
My first thought was, I'm not going to get it, so why bother? My second thought was, Oh my goodness, If I DO get it, I will have to perform in front of an entire theater. My third thought was, I know what I want to write about, but I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing this with people I know, let alone a national audience.
Here's my latest: last month an online friend and fellow Notre Dame alum alerted me to an opportunity that really truly scared me. Two hours away in Portland, auditions were being held for the show Listen To Your Mother, where 12 women are selected to read a piece of their writing on the topic of motherhood.
My first thought was, I'm not going to get it, so why bother? My second thought was, Oh my goodness, If I DO get it, I will have to perform in front of an entire theater. My third thought was, I know what I want to write about, but I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing this with people I know, let alone a national audience.
I realized, however, that if a client approached me and said they had an opportunity to do something really big and fun but scary, I'd encourage them to go for it. I'd say, the worst thing that could happen is you don't get it. I knew I had to take the same risk I'd advise others to take.
My husband drove with me to Portland. I read my piece. And then I found out I'm in.
The topic I will speak on is incredibly personal and I'm still scared to share it with so many people. But I think it's important one, especially for young women, to hear. In May I'm going to do something that really, really scares me - I'm going to sidestep my usual Hyper Privacy Personal Bubble to talk about overcoming two intertwined personal challenges.
My husband drove with me to Portland. I read my piece. And then I found out I'm in.
The topic I will speak on is incredibly personal and I'm still scared to share it with so many people. But I think it's important one, especially for young women, to hear. In May I'm going to do something that really, really scares me - I'm going to sidestep my usual Hyper Privacy Personal Bubble to talk about overcoming two intertwined personal challenges.
Scaring yourself is one of the best ways to make sure we keep moving forward in our personal, academic, and professional lives. No two persons' fears are the same, so it doesn't matter if anyone else understands your scary thing.
Challenging yourself in the distinct form of confronting and overcoming a fear is emboldening, confidence-building, and character-forming.
How has scaring yourself in the past paid off for you?
Challenging yourself in the distinct form of confronting and overcoming a fear is emboldening, confidence-building, and character-forming.
How has scaring yourself in the past paid off for you?
