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The Power of Yes

07/15/2013

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Mark Zmarzly compares how NO people and YES people interpret failures:

1. No people regret all the times they said yes and failed. They regret the failure!

2. Yes people don't regret failure, they feel regret mostly over opportunities they did not seize!       They do not regret their failures, only their non-attempts!

Every "Yes" Is An Opportunity

You make a million decisions a day, each one coming down to either YES or NO. I used to be a NO person. NO, I do not want to get coffee after class - I'm tired and want to go home. NO, I do not want to be the person to collect the exams and deliver them to the professor after class. NO, I do not want to volunteer to answer a question in the intimidating seminar. NO, I do not want to take a Sociology course - I'm a History major.

What happened? I was often lonely. bored in class, and felt detached from my peers. All those NOs limited my opportunity to meet new friends, connect with my classmates, and stand out to my professors.

So what made me start saying YES?

It was actually a NO. As an undergraduate, I had to fulfill a language requirement - at least two years of a second language. I was already proficient in Spanish and decided to say NO to taking Advanced Spanish (where I'd have to write essays and read Don Quijote en espanol). Instead, I said YES to Russian 101. I assumed I'd learn how to say Hi, Bye, Apple, and Where's the library? 

I found myself in a tight-knit group where it was safe to say YES. YES, I will risk looking stupid by attempting to pronounce words I have yet to get a handle on. YES, I will come to a study group or movie night or bowling to hang out with my classmates. YES, I will answer questions in class, and not worry whether or not I'm always correct.

All those YES's ultimately added up - Russian proved an entry point into so many subsequent academic (and personal) opportunities for me, that now, I can't fathom what would have happened if I'd said NO.

When To Say Yes 

In Class: When the instructor asks for a volunteer, put your hand up. You're not going to be forced to do anything hideously embarrassing or physically challenging. The teacher either needs someone to help with an actual task (such as passing around handouts) or needs a willing participant to make a point.

On Campus: A few times a year, most schools will hold fairs to publicize clubs, organizations, and careers. Go to them. You might learn that there's a juggling club meeting every Thursday afternoon, and you've always wanted to try juggling...so why not just give it a shot? Similarly, a job fair is excellent practice for interacting with potential employers in a professional manner. Bring your resume if you are actively looking for work, and if someone gives you his or her card, follow up with an email or phone call. This could be the opportunity for an internship or post-graduate job.

Free Stuff: Universities are pretty good about hosting events and give-aways for their students on a semi-regular basis. However, if nobody shows up, what incentive does the school have to keep offering them? Go get your t-shirt, ice cream, picture taken with the team mascot - whatever. Go. Say YES to fun.

Electives: They're called electives for a reason - to give you, the student, a chance to have some choice in your curriculum. Electives do not (!) have to relate to your major. In fact, they are wonderful opportunities to take advantage of your school's full breadth of course offerings. You can explore a peripheral interest or hobby without any real long-term academic or professional commitment. For example, I was a History major, but some of my favorite classes, like Drawing 101 and Anthropology of Addiction, let me develop my interests in art and human behavior. 

When To Say No

I've already touched on this when I discussed Setting Boundaries. It is so important to honor your comfort level in relationships, school, and with work. A good rule of thumb: Does saying NO to something help you say YES to one or more other things? 

If I say no to pulling all-nighters during exam week, that means I'm not procrastinating, I'm working on my time management skills, and I'm setting myself up to actually be awake come test time.

Or, by saying no to playing on my friend's soccer team, I have enough time to stay on top of my homework, hang out with my significant other, and go to my part-time job.

Move on From Failures, Seize Opportunities

YES or NO are not inherently good or bad answers. What qualifies either as a good decision is if it offers you more than it limits you. If you are waffling over saying yes to something, consider the ways in which it stands to benefit or disadvantage you. 

However, I'm asking you to go beyond a simple pros vs. cons analysis, and examine your motives for YES. Are you saying no out of fear of failing? Would you be more willing to say YES if you reframed the outcome, good or bad, as having pursued an opportunity? 

Saying YES in pursuit of attempting to better yourself or your situation gives you power. Things are no longer happening to you - you're making things happen for you.
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Setting Achievable Goals

06/05/2013

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Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions.  
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Dream Big, Start Small

Have you ever had a goal that felt so far out of reach, you didn't even bother to try?

  • A high school student with B's and C's decides he will never get into Princeton, so he avoids filling out college applications.
  • A recent college graduate with a degree in Computer Engineering cannot find any job openings with Microsoft, and so she turns down other opportunities while waiting for a position to open up.
  • A graduate student needs money to complete his research, but is not yet qualified to apply for national fellowships, so he takes out yet another loan, plunging himself further into debt.

Each of these students would experience greater success if they realigned their goals with reality; success does not have to mean getting into an Ivy League school, landing a prestigious job right out of college, or receiving a Rhodes Scholarship.

Actually, success means setting realistic goals, and then devising and implementing a plan to achieve them.

Aiming High for You

In the quote above, Longfellow is not suggesting we drop our ambitions and settle for what is easily obtainable. He is, however, warning against letting lofty, unrealistic goals hamper our ability to make any real progress.

For example, the student with B's and C's is right to assume that he probably will not be accepted into Princeton, However, there are other institutions who have more flexible criteria for admission (including prioritizing in-state applicants) that make his goal of getting into college absolutely attainable. 

My suggestion for him, and similar students, is to utilize the number of online resources to filter out which schools are a good fit for the B student. 

Similarly, the graduate looking to work at Microsoft can be open to jobs with smaller computer companies, or even internships, as a means to getting her foot planted into the industry. And the graduate student can avoid further debt by investigating what kinds of scholarships exist in his department and at a more regional level.

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Guess what? Your definition of success is always going to be different from someone else's. Don't let someone else's yardstick for accomplishments serve as the measure of your own.

Here's where the role of Self-Initiative comes into play - you must give yourself permission to define what constitutes success in your own terms. Be willing to find alternative routes to a major goal, or reframe your goal entirely.

You can:
  • Start out a school and later attempt to transfer into your dream school
  • Take an unpaid internship to gain experience for your dream job
  • Find money in smaller scholarships, which make you more competitive later for major grants

The point is to be ambitious in a way that gets stuff done. Always Aim High, while recognizing it's not always a straight path to your original goal.
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Get Your Resume Noticed: Part I

04/10/2013

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While it is definitely a good idea to have one or two people to proofread your resume, I would not suggest a resume-writing party. Even though it looks like they are having a great time. Photo: http://www.mticc.com

For Students

Picture
Whether you are in high school or college, at some point you are going to need to write a resume. Do not just use a free template found online or through Microsoft Word. Your resume, like any piece of writing, must be tailored to the job you are applying for.

Some basic formatting guidelines include using classic fonts like Times New Roman or Arial in sizes 10-12, black and white only, printed on white or ivory quality resume paper. Although it seems counterintuitive for getting noticed, simple is better.

Basic Organization

CONTACT INFORMATION
At the top, you need to state your full name and contact information, including mailing address, phone, and email. 

OBJECTIVE
When you are applying for a specific job, and the hiring committee already knows exactly what position your resume is for, an objective is redundant. It is better to leave it off, and free up some room to detail your work experience.

However, when posting your resume on a job site, or submitting it to a company or organization without a specific position opening, include an objective. Some people advise against including this, claiming it looks dull and "juvenile." I disagree. It is important to explicitly state what job you are applying for.

Objective: To obtain a position as an Office Assistant at Company X.

EDUCATION
Then put your education history. Start with your most recent degree or certification. Include the name of the school, the specific degree and major, and the dates attended. 

WORK EXPERIENCE
Starting with your most recent job, list your relevant work experience. Include your title, company or organization name, location, dates started and ended, and a bullet point or two outlining your major duties. You want to keep the resume to one page, so if you are waffling between which jobs to list, cut the ones that aren't pertinent to the position you are applying for. 

In other words, if you are applying to be a bank teller, mention that you worked as a customer service representative at a retail store but omit that you worked at a frozen yogurt shop.

However, if there is a believable way to spin seemingly unrelated work experience into relevant past experience, go for it.

SKILLS
Do you speak a foreign language? Are you a computer genius? Refer back to the job description and highlight which of your skills fits the company's needs.

REFERENCES
Here list three past employers, their title, place of employment, and contact information. In some cases you can leave this off and the company will ask for them. Usually a job posting will state whether or not they want references listed. Do not write "References upon request." 

Putting It Together

You will get conflicting advice about how to order the information I listed above. My order is intentional and strategic: you state what job you are applying for, your education, your work experience, and skills. A hiring manager is only going to skim the resume anyway; the resume should have a logical flow of information. 

Whatever you do, don't lie or even overembellish. Do not put you are fluent in Japanese if you only know a few words or phrases. It's better to be up front about your abilities. Even if someone doesn't test you in the interview, you still might end up in a position that you are not, in fact, qualified for, and will be overwhelmed.

However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try for positions that seem difficult to obtain. If you believe you are a good candidate and capable of doing excellent work, follow the guidelines I outlined and submit your resume with confidence.

For those already in the working world, I am working on a post that details how to improve your existing resume.

One final (and important!) note: for any student applying to graduate school, a professional resume is not the same as a Curriculum Vitae, or CV. A future post will cover how to write an academic CV.
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